15: Sarah Reynolds Oji
Chris Suarez: [00:00:00] [00:00:00]
Welcome back to the experience growth podcast, focused on the six pillars of living and experiential life, our career, our relationships, our personal growth, our health, our wealth, and our spirituality. Few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to speak to some of real estates, most successful business owners across the country about each one of these pillars.
They were hand selected to talk about just one pillar that they have demonstrated so incredibly well, both in their business and their personal life. And today I want to share my conversation with Sarah Reynolds Oji around the pillar of relationships.
. Sarah first welcome. Thank you so much. You've become really just this sort of KW icon.
And the business speaks for itself right on the screen. You'll see, like last year, over a thousand units, about a half a billion in real estate sold. Let's change GCI. And just talk about revenue businesses. You have a $15 million revenue business, truly guys, there are very few of those in the country, right?
Regardless of industry, you run a massive business. We know that. But what I appreciate and probably even more, so this year, as I've watched you and gotten to know you a little bit more is your just ridiculous commitment to relationship. My relationship definitely drives your business. But maybe we could just start there, Sarah maybe talk to us a little bit about who you are, like what your family looks like and what your work family looks like as well.
Sarah Reynolds Oji: [00:01:38] Yeah. Thank you, Chris. I'm so excited about this. This is a topic that I've actually never been interviewed on. So I'm super excited. I'm also, it was also awesome to hear I'm not your backup plan for the topic too. I think all the panelists are like, yes, I'm not the backup player.
Chris Suarez: [00:01:54] I have a backup plan.
People that know me know that I'm all in no backup plan.
Sarah Reynolds Oji: [00:01:58] So I am first and foremost very proud wife. I've been with my husband dated yesterday was our date of bursary. And so we've been dating we've dated 17 years, been married 12 and we have three beautiful children a almost eight year old in a couple of weeks.
Olivia, my first will be turning eight. And then I've got a five-year-old and a one and a half year old. So very busy at home. And then really that's my home sort of life, as well as I'm super close with my family, my parents, and things like that. But then on, on the Workfront I've got a really powerful executive leadership team, which are like my people.
I know Chris, you have your people too. We do everything together in terms of building the business. We also are, good friends as well and walk through struggles together. And then our. Total organization now is I think up to 130 people, 130 people that about 60 agents. And then we've got a inside sales staff of almost 20 and a operations team.
We're developing a client care department, which is never been done before, actually with what their role is and let's see what else. Yeah. Those are my people. So about 130 of us.
Chris Suarez: [00:03:12] Awesome. Let me just jump right in and ask you a real specific question. You're phenomenal in the relationship clearly.
Like I remember the first time you and I went to dinner in Austin. I remember the restaurant. I remember what I ate. I remember your mom was there. And I remember exactly who was sitting around the table. And I think largely that was because of who you are. Like, you bring people together and you were there to build the relationship.
But how do you talk tickly start one. And I know that seems like a simple question, but how do you start the relationship? How do you start it? How do you build and develop it? And then how do you repair it? If something goes wrong?
Sarah Reynolds Oji: [00:03:45] Yeah. Great question. So my number one sort of in way of starting a relationship is like a really simple question, which is I ask people like, so what's your story.
And I think I might've asked you that night is just like, so what's the Chris story. And I heard all about your struggles with your your wife and I, we won't go into it, but in terms of like her health with the babies and like I heard all about you and I got to know you as a father, as a husband, you know, and it really, I just asked a very open question.
Like what is your story? And then people typically talk for about 30 to 45 minutes and I just listen. And I think that's the foundation of every relationship almost. I have it. And if I don't ask that I'm listening for what their story is, who, how did they become the person they are today? What is the cause?
All of us have experiences that led to our makeup and so trying to figure out, okay, what is it that it has made them into the person that they are one of my favorite? If you Go to YouTube and search Chick-fil-A. Everyone has a story. There's like a three-minute video and it will have you in tears.
And it's basically like just showing all the people at Chick-fil-A and as they're getting their food, and as they're all the things [00:05:00] behind who they are, and every single person has a story. And so trying to find out what is their story, who makes up, who they are is first and foremost, it's hard.
For someone to want awake, wake up every day and work hard in your organization, work hard in your team. Family, give it their all. If they do not feel you care about who they are or who, even who they are that even brought them to the team to begin with. And so find out what their story is first and foremost, what was the other part of that?
Chris Suarez: [00:05:30] Have you had a situation where once you found out who they are, once you've built that relationship, once you've really developed that relationship by staying in touch with who they are and where they are, who they are today. What happens when relationships sort of begin to break down, have you had a business relationship or a personal relationship that began to break down and whatever you do to repair that?
Sarah Reynolds Oji: [00:05:48] I think transparency. Like a lot of us have feelings. So if something happens in a relationship when I'm, when I find, like I just had a really big conversation with someone, probably the person I respect most in business, where I had to say Hey, I think something with our relationship has caused us to, like, we're not on the same page about this.
And I was just very clear about this is how I'm, this is sort of how I'm feeling. Am I right? Am I wrong? Can we have an open discussion about it? Because I care deeply that our relationship is amazing and this is coming in between us. So I think being okay with saying, and being transparent, Hey, I'm feeling this way.
And is there something that we can do to fix it? I don't and I move fast if I feel that there's something in a relationship with someone like they're going to hear from me pretty quickly about it. Cause I don't walk away with I don't walk around with lots of broken relationships. Yeah. You asked that question.
I was like, I don't even know. Cause I address it quick.
Chris Suarez: [00:06:50] Yeah. You know what? I think there's a huge takeaway for us, Sarah, is that you're okay with saying, this is how I'm feeling. So let's talk about it where most of us we don't want to bring feelings in because we feel like that isn't the place for that.
That's me, but let's talk about facts, but the reality is if you preface the conversation by this is how I'm feeling, I feel like we're not on the same page. So let's talk through that. It's really powerful.
Sarah Reynolds Oji: [00:07:14] Yeah. And the why feelings, I mean, feelings is relationship. And so you can't really just ignore them, but you also tie it in, like I'm not walking around, like, Oh, you hurt my feelings. Like I'm not saying that what I'm saying is if you feel something in a relationship, call it out say, Hey, I'm feeling this way.
Can we discuss it? And Hey, by the way, why the feeling matters is because you matter. You matter to me, your relationship matters to me. So we need to get on the same page and make sure that we can repair whatever's going on and talk through it because you matter. And so that's why it matters to bring up feelings and being okay to say that.
Chris Suarez: [00:07:52] One of the on a recent podcasts we had Mike Jensen on just an incredible, he's worked with PepsiCo and Coca-Cola and just a lot of big corporations. And he said the greatest currency in the world is our relationships. And so the challenge there is if we're not.
If we're not willing to have that feeling conversation, we're basically just withdrawing from that bank and you and I have had that same illustration conversation before. If we're not, if we're not inputting or when we're not making deposits into that currency or that bank it's going to run dry.
You want to give your perspective on that?
Sarah Reynolds Oji: [00:08:23] Yeah. Absolutely. First of all, like life is relationships, so you don't want to be walking around feeling down about the relationships you have, and then you spend more time with your work family than you do with your real, with your actual family.
If you cut out sleeping, that's what they say on average. And so those relationships matter, not as much as family, but to me, they're very equal in my mind in terms of making sure that we're continually investing in those relationships.
Chris Suarez: [00:08:51] Yep. Let me ask you this. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm going to go there for a minute and talk about your personal relationships.
You, you clearly run a big business and no, one's going to argue with the fact that takes time you're in it. Like you, you really stay connected to your business. How do you not let certain relationships break down? Because you're so ultra focused on, on that.
Sarah Reynolds Oji: [00:09:13] So I remember, I, it always has impressed me, there's so many male powerhouse leaders in our company that I respect so much.
And one of the things that impresses me about the male brain is they say that men work in compartments. So they're like waffles, their brains, like waffles. And that women's brains is spaghetti. Okay. So meaning we're we intertwine everything and then men can go into their other box. And be able to separate really well.
Okay. So obviously I can't change change my brain. And so it is spaghetti cause I am a female. But what I can do is I can compartmentalize my schedule. And one of the things that I do for , my key relationships with my husband, with my kids is having a set date night. So every single Thursday we are on date [00:10:00] night, every single Thursday, and nothing comes in between that time.
And then same with my girls. We do date night, we go get their hair done and we make it fun mommy time. So You can't compartmentalize my brain, but you can compartment mentalize my schedule. So if they're really important, so you will know the importance level of someone by looking at well, where are they?
Where are they put their importance? You can look at two things and w in someone's life, you look at their calendar and that will tell you who is important to them, or what is important to them. And then you can look at their bank account. So how we spend our time and how we spend our money shows, what, who we are.
You don't even have to know someone and you can look and see who they are. And so for me, it's making sure that you, I, we have time. I see a question. No, he's not in our business. He is a loan officer, but he's not in the rentals team. So did I answer your question?
Chris Suarez: [00:10:50] So let's talk a little bit more about that.
And I think that's a brilliant comment and also controversial your worth to me is based on where you show up potentially on my calendar and also where you show up woven through my economics or my financial willingness to part with money is, am I hearing that right?
Talk me through that. Convince me that. Convinced me that time and money are sort of in definition of value in the relationship.
Sarah Reynolds Oji: [00:11:17] Okay. So good call on that on this question. So I think if you look at, so the better way I think to put that with time, especially with relationships is making sure that it doesn't, you have to have time in your space to develop relationships.
That's not necessarily Oh, this is Chris's time. But there has to be relationship building time. I asked my executive leadership team. I was like I said, Chris is interviewing me on this topic. I don't know what I do. I don't know what I do. I know I had deep relationships. I don't know what I'm doing.
And they, all of them resounded with At the end of the day, you're like text messaging. Hey, I was thinking about you with this, how's this going with this? And that is on my calendar. So you need to make sure your calendar has time where you're focused on building the relationship. It drives me like part of me, like I have a door shut and I've had an amazing gatekeeper, but my philosophy is there's always time for me to walk around my office.
Check in with my people. If you are so time blocked to where you don't have time to build a relationships, no one wants that. No one wants, Hey, you have 10 minutes. That's your value right now is a 10 minute conversation. No, some people you've got to have the flexibility. So building it in is important.
So I just want to know. You mentioned
Chris Suarez: [00:12:29] that too. Yeah, I love one huge part of that is it doesn't mean it's time, block time. Oftentimes our people appreciate the random reach out the random texts that did not take a whole lot of time. And yet what you said is schedule, relationship, building time.
Listen, if you want to build a, I often say this, we all say, Oh, this is a relationship business. I've built my business on relationships. Sarah, I'm going to speak for, you would say then show me where on your calendar. You've placed relationship building time, Jim Collins. You don't realize, you may not realize this, but you almost said word for word.
What Jim Collins says is the pillar of success of all business. He said this. He just rewrote in his new book B 2.0 he said these close relationships develop between great companies. And he said they developed with customers, suppliers, investors, employees, the general community.
He says those relationships develop because the company's leaders. Invest their personal time in helping to shape the relationship. So it's a little personal time to shape relationship.
Sarah Reynolds Oji: [00:13:33] Yeah, absolutely. No. And that applies to I mean our own lives too. Like I three weeks ago my dad called me and he said, Hey, Sarah, there's something going on and I really want to talk to you about it.
I want to go to lunch. So my, your mom pulled up your calendar. I can't have lunch with my daughter for four weeks. And I was like, he said, you were so blocked. And so I immediately called my assistant. I was like, this has got to change. Like I, I have to go back to natural Sarah, which means that at times I don't have everything blocked off to where I can adjust as needed.
If one of my team members needs needs something at that point, if one of my family members need something. So yes, time block and the better thing is actually time block, future. But then look at your previous, how did you spend the time? And making sure that you're taking time to develop those relationships and building up your people is huge
Chris Suarez: [00:14:23] because we have
Sarah Reynolds Oji: [00:14:25] a question from the audience of the point of clarification.
Sarah, do you calendar like this is the time for personal touches with my people, or is it just more built into your flexible wise white space? No, I calendar like the time and I go through my people like. Cause I was actually thinking about that because one of my strengths is called relater. So some of this is like just a strength thing, like in terms of, I know how to relate to people and then at a deep level, but I was trying to think, how can I tactfully tell someone what to do?
And honestly, it's, at the end of the day, I always have 30 to 45 minutes and I'm running [00:15:00] through my people. The other big thing is I have a list on Facebook. You can make lists. And so all of my people, when I'm on Facebook, I'm not on Facebook, just like scrolling through I'm on Facebook, looking at my people what's going on in their life.
What's going on in their personal life. I'm liking loving, commenting. I then send them a text message, take it off social media and send them a message. Hey, I saw that you went on a date with your boyfriend. Like you look stunning. It just take it off and build a relationship, but you can do that from and that is time, block time.
So when I'm on there, it's about investing in my people when I'm on there.
Chris Suarez: [00:15:33] Huge takeaway guys is just that phrase, tick it off social. It actually increases the same amount of time to do a personal message or comment on a post, but it takes it off social for everyone to see and action. Cause that's just that's public and it makes it personable when you send that text.
Awesome. Yeah. Let me ask you this. I actually have really appreciated your openness around your relationship with your husband. You've recently posted on social media about like his value to you. Posted a video with him, some photos with him. I feel like I've gotten to know him through you. How do you.
Have there been moments that you've woken up and said, Hey, I need to work on this. Has the relationship always been amazing? There are people on the call today thinking, gosh, I really need to work on that. Or I'm really uncomfortable with that. What advice do you have in, in your personal, like very personal relationship with your husband?
Sarah Reynolds Oji: [00:16:26] Yeah. So typically there's like a driver in the relationship like driver let's go dominate the world. Let's go take over, in the, in our world, like most of us are typically the drivers and we could work like constantly and then there's typically the other one that is more the it's not all about work, let's have some more balance.
And so my husband is for sure. The more family oriented balance. He's the rock at home. And for years I tried to trick change him. Like for years, I wanted him to be in with me with business and I wanted us to be taking over the world together and all of this. And then I was at a conference and he was there.
He saw me speak and it was a pretty remarkable moment in our relationship. And there was this woman who has been built a phenomenal business and has been married for like 52 years and older lady. And she had spent some time with us. She went to lunch with us and she spent some time with us.
She pulled me aside after I spoke and she looked at me and she said, I've noticed that you're trying to change your husband. And I said, okay. That's a pretty brutal thing to tell him, to tell someone like, so I've noticed you're trying to treat your husband. And from my observing. Your family needs.
Can't handle two of you. You need your husband to be him and you and your family needs you to be you. But if you try to change him and he becomes you, that will literally destroy your family. Love him for who he is. Love him for what he's about it, praise him for it. He doesn't have to be this crazy driver driving business guy.
And yes, he's a PA just put it out there. My husband is a powerful guy in terms of business as well, but he knows his priorities. And I realized that day she was right. I was trying to change him. So there was a shift that was about four to five years ago. And now it's like, man, I look at our world.
Like we would not have the world we have without us being a full team. We are a team. I need him to be him and I will be me and I shouldn't be trying to change him. And so I think that was a key thing with my husband of just love him for who he is and stop trying to change him.
Chris Suarez: [00:18:42] Yeah, I love that.
I have one more question for you, sir. This has been awesome by the way. How have the relationships and building both business and life around key relationship led to really living experientially day in and day out, day in and day out and not pushing that off for retirement or not pushing it off to someday or when how the pillar that pillar of relationship led to an experiential life for you.
Sarah Reynolds Oji: [00:19:04] Yeah, I think that, I think it has all really started with I'm part of the five dolls and it's a group of women that really help each other. And then we started an organization called amplify. And one of the things that we do is create our joy list. So what brings you joy? And it can't be like. A five minute exercise. Like you gotta shut the noise off. You gotta turn everything off, put on some good music and just start writing down. What have I been happiest? What re what brings me joy? And so I did this exercise and I started seeing a trend and a lot of it was around travel with my family.
So like traveling to different destinations really showing them the world. And so basically I created my living experience. Experiential life. And then now, like that's the first thing that goes on my calendar is making sure the things that bring me joy get scheduled out for the year first.
And then all the other things obviously fit into that. But making sure [00:20:00] that you, each one of us get joy out of different things. And so you can define it a little bit different ways, but all, a lot of my joy things were around. Relationships. And so making sure that is on the schedule and and, but it took me figuring out what are those things?
What brings you joy? Take time to write down what brings you joy and then build your calendar around the things that bring you joy.
Chris Suarez: [00:20:20] Absolutely love that. Sarah, thank you so much. And actually, just guys write that last thing down as well. Right there, there are a few big takeaways for me, tactically, on how to build relationship, develop relationship for pair relationships, but how do you even create them?
That, that joy list. Interestingly, I've Stoics. Talk about that about thinking back to when we feel peace or when we feel happier, when we feel joy and then realizing that if we create our lives around that, then we can actually model or tactically actually follow the steps that get us there.
Instead of believing that was elusive. Like I remember that one time that I was happy for you. It was well, gosh, most of my happy moments are related to a deeper relationship. So you've gone in and created a business world, built on a relationship, a personal world, built on relationship friendships across the co like built on relationships because it brings you joy.
Love that. Love that. Thank you, Sarah. Thank you.
