02: Commit To You

Chris Suarez: (00:11)

Welcome back to experience growth. I'm your host, Chris Suarez. And today we are going to talk about committing to you. guys, this is my first podcast or the first day of the first week of the first month of a new quarter of what it seemed to many to be the most interesting year of their lives.

Chris Suarez: (00:32)

Let's not waste a great temporal landmark. I've often shared that human beings love temporal landmarks. We love the first of the year. We love the first of the month. We love the first of the week. We love the first hour of our day. We look for these temporal landmarks. Why do we love first or beginnings?

Chris Suarez: (00:53) 

Because let's face it. We all need a fresh start once in a while. We all need that relaunch once in a while, we all need to erase a yesterday or last week or last month, or even last year once in a while. Temporal landmarks allow us to give ourselves forgiveness for maybe not showing up how we wished we had forgiveness for not accomplishing what we know we could have. Forgiveness for, we're not doing what we said we would do. Ultimately temporal landmarks allow us to recommit to self and to erase something we wish to forget. That is why January 1st, the gym is packed. That is why March 1st people are committed to their goals. That is why July 1st, people are ready to get in shape. See where we are significantly more likely to tackle our goals with the start of a new date. These temporal landmarks offer a psychological shift for us. It allows us to separate old me and a new me. Now this week has been an adventure for many, but not unlike any other week or any other adventure.

Chris Suarez: (02:04)

When we look closely, sure, some new challenges and for some of us, some new activities. We're a month into the Coronavirus, to COVID-19, for one I've suddenly been thrown into becoming a homeschool teacher for part of each day. Without choice, I'd become the Math teacher and the English teacher.

Chris Suarez: (02:23)

Perhaps because my wife knows I can calculate what any percent of any number is and English is her second language. So those are my two subjects. And I will assure you, she has every other subject in the book, but my students actually taught me an interesting lesson this week related to this word commit.

Chris Suarez: (02:41)

I wanted to share that lesson with you. See kids don't love to do math in pen. I found out right as the math teacher, they just weren't doing the work. And I finally said, gosh, we gotta get these math problems done. And I may have tossed, but I handed out a pen to my daughter and kids don't love to write stories in pen, man. They just weren't getting their English done. And so I picked up the pen and gave it to my younger daughter and neither of them wanted to do their math or write their stories in pen. Now I'm pretty sure I couldn't possibly be the only parent that had to break up a school time argument this month. The Wednesday Math class meltdown had everything to do with an argument around who was getting the erasable pen,now for nostalgia sake just remember, your first erasable pen.

Chris Suarez: (03:35)

Maybe you were in middle school, but papermate invented erasable ink back in 1979. After a decade of research, they came out right with their first erasable pen, it was called, what was it called? The eraser mate. And every kid wanted one in school. It was the first time a pen allowed for mistakes that could be erased.

Chris Suarez: (04:01)

Why? Because we all want a fresh start sometimes let's unpackage that for just a minute.  First, why does a pencil easily erase in an ink typically not? Because ink soaks into the paper fibers while pencil lays down a coating of graphite that doesn't bond very tightly with the paper surface, allowing you to.. What? Just rub it off. Just rub it off with an eraser. When you use an erasable pen, that ink actually is bonding differently. With that piece of paper, it actually bonds in a much looser fashion than regular ink and actuality, depending on how hard you press with that erasable pen, it would either erase fairly well, or just smudge the ink around on the paper.

Chris Suarez: (04:45)

And do you remember that back in middle school? The messes you made with your erasable pen. But either way the quality of the ink, the quality of the erasable ink is inferior. It lacks vivid color, it lacks bonding to the paper because it's less committed to what you wrote or drew or what problem you solved?

Chris Suarez: (05:09)

See, you were raised in a school system in classrooms that promote erasing mistakes. A fearing cross outs and effects allowing for lack of commitment in our work, as we can always go back and erase. So this week's challenge commits.. This week's challenges commit to you. There are two interesting definitions of commitment guys.

Chris Suarez: (05:31)

The first is this, it's the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause. Being dedicated to an activity, being dedicated to a person, some of us are committed to a cause some of us show up committed to an activity. Some of us are incredibly committed to people. The second definition is interesting.

Chris Suarez: (05:52)

It's an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action. Commitment is an engagement or an obligation that restricts freedom of action. See therein lies the problem. No one wants to sign up for something that restricts our freedom or restricts what we can and can't do. Gosh, where most of us that are listening are Americans American.

Chris Suarez: (06:14) 

Like we're not told what to do. Perhaps that's why you ended up in a job that you could control and yet to be a committed person, we need to show up every day and do what we say we're going to do and be who we say we're going to be. Are we a person that people can look at in any aspect of our life, our business life, our relationship with life, our health life.

Chris Suarez: (06:38)  

And do they identify you as a committed human being? See, I believe that if we're going to ask people to partner up with us on a mission and our vision, if we're going to attract people to values, then they should be able to look at us and say, where have you shown up committed? So look back over your last month, your last year, your last decade, your last two decades, your history, can people point to you as a ridiculously committed human being. Now doesn't mean we can't change, doesn't mean we look back and say, gosh, I made a mistake. I made a couple mistakes. I made 14 mistakes. We're always going to make mistakes. But ask yourself, do you have a track record of being committed.?

Chris Suarez: (07:25) 

See if I'm going to get into business with someone, if I'm going to partner with someone, if I'm going to be in relationship with someone, I'm going to look for a track records of commitment in their business world and life in their personal world and life are they committed to their partners are they're committed to their children. Are they committed to their friends? Especially now.. Guys as we are socially distanced during this, and during this COVID-19 situation, especially now as we're socially distanced working remotely, having no physical accountability from someone sitting next to us, we need to commit to self, regardless of what we've done over the past 30 days today, we can choose commitment.

Chris Suarez: (08:10) 

 No need to erase, just start writing in pen guys, right? Take out the pen, wake up, knowing what you committed to accomplish and knock it out.  Write in pen what you plan to do today. Now, this is not as easy as it may seem. Often it is much easier to commit to others than even committing to ourselves. See when there are people to help, when there are people to work for, we jump in and help. We jump in and work for them. When we look around and see other people next to us, it's easier to show up and commit, yet in one of my favorite books and Stephen Covey's Seven Habits. He clearly outlines that we will never be effective. Seven habits of highly effective people. We will never be effective unless we start with commitment to self.

Chris Suarez: (09:01) 

See in his book, he outlines the contrast between a private victory and a public victory. What's the difference? Private victory and public victory? See commitment and trust. starts privately. It starts within. We need to win internally. We need to win in private. We need to win for ourselves before we can go out and win externally. Every day that we show up and knock out what we committed to do every day that we commit to self. Every day we show up and do what we told ourselves we were going to do.

Chris Suarez: (09:35) 

See, we build self trust. We just earned. We just have a private victory, which allows us to what? Gosh, in his growth continuum, Covey says it allows us to move on to additional habits on the way to a few future public victories. Put simply we can't help others until we help ourselves. So wake up each morning and ask yourself, what can I do today? Then ask yourself, what will I do today? See, there's a big difference between what can I do and what will I do? And at the end of the day, guess what we get to ask ourselves? What did I do today? What can I do? What will I do? What did I do? Take control of something in your world immediately upon waking up the sooner you do, the more likely that habit will snowball and you will control decision after decision. You will change and impose habit after habit. See if our days slip by without us keeping a commitment to ourselves, the opposite can happen. See, we begin to lose belief and confidence in self. And I bet every single one of us at some point has been there.

Chris Suarez: (10:45) 

Our confidence began to wane. Our confidence began to slip. Our confidence began to disappear. See if we're not moving the needle, we will begin to feel like we are running in place and not moving forward. And I will tell you, it only, you can only run on a treadmill or run in place for just so long.

Chris Suarez: (11:02) 

We wind up writing the story of our week. In pencil and erasing it upon reflection of our lack of accomplishment. So go ahead, today. Right now, grab a piece of paper, grab a pen, press hard, commit to your story this week. Every hour and every day you keep the commitments you make for yourself is a deposit into your self confidence. The personal victory will lead to your public victory. Don't waste a good temporal landmark, commit to you.