A LETTER FROM CHRIS SUAREZ
YOU ARE A SCULPTOR
In the 2nd-century AD the great sculptor Pygmalion sculpted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. According to the artist's perspective, she exceeded all expectations of beauty. He fell so much in love with this work of art that he had created, that the statue came to life. The written story ends there, although I’m certain there is more to it. This obvious Greek myth has led to many a discussion amongst behavioral and social psychologists. Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson wrote a book about what is now called “The Pygmalion Effect”. In it their research discovered that much like Pygmalion, all of us can create a reality based on the expectations we set for ourselves.
If we set our expectations or find ourselves in environments where expectations are set for us, make sure they lead us to the person or professional we want to become. The opposite can also be true. If we have low expectations of ourselves or allow ourselves to stay in an environment with low or no expectations, our performance will follow that leadership.
In countless classroom studies, the expectations the teacher had for their students affected the students’ performance. Both with written and unwritten expectations, the students’ performance, results, and grades improved. In side by side comparisons with teachers that taught without any expectations or with low expectations, performance and grades suffered. I would call that not just a “self-fulfilling” prophecy, but also an “others-fulfilling” prophecy.
The power of expectations is incredible.
Let’s think about our own expectations for a moment. Whether they are high or low, our actions will follow. Clearly Pygmalion's sculpture didn’t come to life for everyone. As the myth goes, she came to life for him - the creator of the sculpture. In effect she lived into his expectations of who she was and who she could become. Be clear about what it is going to take to achieve your goals this year. Be clear about what changes you need to make to become your future self. The expectations from last year may not be quite enough to hit the results we want this year. Adjust. Set new expectations. Raise the bar. Remember, not having any expectations or personal standards for what we do each day has an equal impact in the opposite direction. Design and commit to expectations that line up with your goals, and check in regularly to ensure you are reaching those, or reaching the expectations of the environment you have self-selected into.
A word of caution. Be mindful of the expectations we adopt from those around us. Today, everyone has expectations of us. While in some settings and to some degree, these expectations are positive and can help drive us to become better versions of ourselves, that is not always the case. We can also be driven to become versions of others’ expectations. Our “self” can begin to look like someone else.
We see this happen in material and lifestyle expectations, weight and beauty expectations, success and awards expectations. We can find ourselves living a life designed around pleasing others, reaching goals that other people have, or meeting other peoples’ expectations. Beware that influencers don’t wind up influencing our expectations - unless of course that is by your own design.
I believe that all of us need to level up expectations for ourselves and those around us. We should level up our expectations in performance, and goal achievement, and confidence. We should level up our expectations in professionalism, and service, and commitment. We should level up our expectations in health, and energy, and positivity.
We should all be sculptors of the most beautiful statue we have ever seen. And then go ahead. Expect it to come to life.
Chris